The List Series Read online

  She was aroused.

  That made two of us.

  My dick twitched eagerly behind the zipper of my jeans as I lowered my mouth to her ear and whispered, “What do you want from me, Victoria?”

  She surprised me by grabbing two fistfuls of my shirt and rubbing her pelvis against me. “I want to you to stop being a coward and finish what you started four years ago in the guesthouse.”

  “Fuck, yeah,” I groaned before crushing my mouth against hers.

  The memory of how she’d looked that night was one I would never forget. Skimpy red bikini. Skin bronzed by the Carolina sun. Lips parted and begging to be kissed.

  She had no goddamn idea how gorgeous she actually was.

  Yeah, that memory had been pulled from the old spank bank a time or two.

  My fingers tangled in her hair, holding her in place while my tongue swept languidly over the seam of her lips. Savoring their sweetness. “You taste as sweet as I imagined.”

  She smiled against my lips. “So, you have imagined kissing me?” I answered her with another kiss.

  As the kiss deepened, she curled one leg around my calf, opening herself to me. My cock throbbed with need, but I forced myself to ignore my own desires and pushed away from the wall, breaking the kiss.

  I regretted it immediately, but I wasn’t about to change my mind. As crazy as it sounded, I thought if I didn’t end things now, we’d both regret it in the morning.

  Despite my convictions, I struggled for the words to try and explain myself.

  “I… I can’t… We need to stop.”

  “Why? We’ve done nothing wrong.” She reached for my arm, but I moved out of her reach.

  “Christ. Don’t you get it? You fucked my brother. Doesn’t this feel twisted to you? He doesn’t want you, so you latch onto me as some sort of sick way to stay close to him.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill down her already splotchy cheeks. “That’s not what this was. Not at all.”

  “Then explain it to me, because I swear to God, right now, it feels like you’re fucking with my head.”

  “You wouldn’t understand. Look, I never meant to mess with your head. I just… Let’s just go back to hating each other and pretend like this never happened.” V shook her head sadly and stepped away from the wall. As she passed, the tips of her fingers skimmed across my palm before she disappeared into the night.

  Wait. What the fuck did she just say?

  I chased after her. “V! Hold up. I know you’re upset, but it’s late. At least let me walk you home.”

  “I’m a grown-ass woman. I don’t need an escort,” she scoffed.

  “Come on, V. It’s dark out and if, God forbid, something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.

  “So, this is all about making you feel better?” She rolled her eyes.

  That same instant, a noise down the alley rang out and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She stared out into the night, clearly shaken. “Fine. You can walk with me, but stay behind me because I have no desire to be anywhere near you right now.”

  She shot me an evil glare, and I put my hands up in front of me, taking two giant steps backwards. “Got it. I promise to keep no less than a five-foot span between us at all times.”

  “Make it ten,” she grumbled and stomped off.

  Not speaking gave me time to play the day’s events over in my mind. While I still wasn’t sure what to make of all of it, one thing was certain. She could try pretending all she wanted, but both of us knew that kiss had happened. And I sure as hell wasn’t about to forget it anytime soon.

  Later, when she was safely tucked away in her own room, I lay in bed jerking off to the memory of that kiss. And when I came, her name rolled off my tongue over and over, sounding like the sweetest song I’d ever sung.

  CHAPTER 14

  V

  Sin was a chicken-shit bastard.

  For years, he had annoyed me with his taunting ways and his insistence on calling me “V” as if he couldn’t be bothered to say my full name. Then he had the audacity to ask for my help, which I very graciously obliged to. Then, when I tried to be nice, he turned into a prick again, and when I called him out on it, he had the nerve to chase me down and kiss me.

  And let’s talk about that kiss, shall we? It was completely unexpected and ended too quickly. That being said, it was nothing short of spectacular.

  The awesomeness of the kiss wasn’t what had surprised me. Sin had lips made for kissing. Soft and supple yet full and firm. The kiss had started out slowly as our mouths became acquainted. It was sensual and sweet and could have gone on for hours. When he grabbed me by the back of the head and I felt the sweep of his velvety tongue, my libido kicked into overdrive.

  Our tongues caressed.

  Our hands explored.

  My nipples drilled holes in his chest.

  Certain body parts made clothing-to-clothing contact.

  I moaned. He moaned. Wait. Maybe I’d been the one who moaned twice. Either way, we had both been into it, and then he’d ended it because he thought I’d been using him because I was still hung up on his brother.

  I was still having trouble wrapping my head around that one.

  That kiss had been the most exhilarating thing to happen to me in months. Being on stage was a close second. But that kiss had awakened something inside I feared I would never get back. I had Michael to thank for that. We would go months without intimacy, and I foolishly put up with it. I accepted that kind of behavior as normal and denied myself the pleasure of a man’s touch. I now realized the mistakes I’d made when it came to my one-sided obsession with Michael Cross. Lack of pleasure was just one of many.

  Allow me to clarify something. I still received pleasure, but it was by my own hand. Well, that and my favorite vibrator.

  The promise that lurked behind Sin’s teasing kisses, the feel of his thick erection as it pressed against me, and the way my body responded, all of it reminded me of what I’d been missing all those years. To have all of that in my hands only to have it stripped away just when things were getting really good…

  It had been nothing short of torture.

  Okay, so maybe I had been a bitch to him all those years ago. Maybe I was guilty of speaking harshly to him outside the guesthouse a week ago. And yes, I did proposition him last night. At least I’d been brave enough to ask for what I wanted. That’s more than I could say for Sin.

  I might not have a lot of experience with men, but I definitely knew when a man wanted me. And last night, he’d definitely wanted me.

  If that kiss hadn’t been enough to prove it, the sound of him moaning my name while masturbating last night left no room for doubt.

  The next few days, we avoided one another like the plague. Blade called in the afternoon and asked me to meet him at the bar later that night. To be honest, I’d been a little taken aback. I hadn’t asked why he wanted to meet, and he never offered. The Nervous Nellie in me feared it had something to do with the meltdown he’d witnessed firsthand. Maybe he was worried I had become a distraction for the guys.

  It was almost nine thirty by the time I’d worked up the nerve to face what was sure to be coming. Because of that, I opted to forgo the short walk and grabbed my keys off the side table on my way out. The guys were already at the bar, seeing as how their set kicked off at nine.

  Thursday was Ladies’ Night at the Playground, and the place was packed. Blade was busy tending bar when I settled in on the only available stool that surrounded the uniquely-shaped bar. He spotted me and held up a finger to indicate he’d be with me in a moment. One of the other bartenders recognized me and came over to take my order.

  Once things had finally settled down, Blade broke away and joined me on the other side of the bar. “Water, eh?”

  I cracked a weak smile. “Yeah. Thought I’d give my liver a little more time to recover.”

  “Wise woman.” He nodded and guided me to an empty table. I fidgeted nervously in my sea
t, while Blade leaned casually back in his chair as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “So, I asked you here because I had something I wanted to run by you, but I wanted to wait until the boys were otherwise occupied.”

  Dread filled my stomach because I already knew he was going to tell me it was time to pack my bags and move on. Sin’s deep timbre echoed eerily throughout the bar as they performed Marilyn Manson’s cover of Tainted Love.

  I choked down my fear and looked him square in the eye. “I’m all ears.”

  “Excellent.” Blade rubbed his hands together. “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and I’ve decided to add an opening act on Friday nights. I already have a few bands lined up for the next month, but after hearing you perform, I’m convinced that you would be the perfect singer to kick things off this Friday.”

  Huh. I hadn’t been expecting that.

  My heart thumped wildly inside my chest as Blade sat next to me, smiling, waiting for me to respond.

  “Blade, what can I say? I’m shocked. Flabbergasted, actually. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m honored that you would consider me for something this important, but I couldn’t possibly…What I mean to say is…Wait. Did you mean this Friday?”

  Blade chuckled as he watched me struggle. “Yep. This Friday. And I have to disagree. You, in fact, could. Better still, you should.”

  I reached out and clutched his hand in mine. “Blade, this is crazy. Friday is less than twenty-four hours away. How am I supposed to prepare? Who will be backing me up?” My mind was a whirlwind of worst-case scenarios.

  “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about any of it. I’ve got everything taken care of. Be here tomorrow at noon, and I’ll introduce you to a few friends of mine.” He winked as if all of it would be a piece of cake. Meanwhile, I was certain I was about to throw up my dinner.

  I flashed the most convincing smile I could summon and gave the air a little fist pump. “Woot woot! Can’t wait.”

  CHAPTER 15

  SIN

  Four days.

  That’s how long Victoria and I had been avoiding each other.

  FOUR. LONG. ASS. DAYS.

  The kiss we’d shared had rocked my world. I hadn’t been expecting that. I mean, I’d imagined kissing her for years, but to finally do it… It had been my decision to push her away, but it hadn’t been easy. Believe me, I’d walked all the way home with a giant set of blue balls to prove it. Even though what I’d said about her infatuation with my brother still rang true, that hadn’t stopped me from thinking about her. I’d spent the last four nights jerking off to the memory of her sweet taste. So, when she strutted past me, wearing a pair of Daisy Duke’s and teal cowboy boots, I couldn’t help but watch the show.

  The sight of her heart-shaped ass peeking out from beneath the fringed denim did indescribable things to my cock. And every time she bent down to retrieve something off the floor, the desire to claim her tight little ass increased tenfold. Just knowing that other guys would see her and be thinking the same illicit thoughts made me cagey as fuck.

  She sashayed across the living room and grabbed the leather backpack she always carried. While this was going on, Hawk joined me on the other side of the kitchen island.

  “Where are you going?” I inquired.

  “Out,” she replied tartly and kept walking. She made it as far as the door.

  “Dressed like that?” My voice shot up an entire octave. She ignored my question and gave me her best glare. “Where are you going?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she quipped as the screen door slammed behind her.

  My eyes moved from the door to Hawk then back to the door. “What the fuck is her problem?”

  “Dude! What the hell are you talking about? You two have been at each other’s throats for days.” His eyes narrowed in question. “I thought you said you straightened everything out the other night?”

  “Not exactly,” I hedged, and he responded with a raised brow.

  I pushed off the counter and started pacing the floor. “I went after her, but we never actually worked things out. In fact, I probably made things worse.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “What I’m trying to say is, something went down, but we didn’t do a whole lot of talking.”

  Hawk’s jaw dropped. “You dirty fucker. Please tell me you didn’t sleep with Tori and then blew her off, because that is so not cool, dude!”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face and looked up to the ceiling for answers. Finding none. “No. We never fucked. But we did kiss. Once. Maybe twice. I don’t remember,” my voice trailed off.

  “Bullshit! I think your memory is just fine. That’s why you got so pissed when she went out dressed that way.” He laughed. “You got a taste of Tori’s sweetness, and now you want to keep her all to yourself.”

  I grunted my response.

  “So… If you kissed her, then why is she so pissed at you? You that bad of a kisser, Sin?” he harassed.

  “Hell no,” I snapped defensively. “She’s pissed because she wanted more and I told her that would be a mistake. I may have accused her of using me to stay close to Michael.”

  “Ouch! That’s harsh, brother. No wonder she can’t stand your ass.”

  I stared at the door and scratched my head. “Where do you think she went?”

  “No idea. Maybe she left a note or something in her room.” He shrugged and went to explore the fridge.

  “Yes!” I snapped my fingers and took the stairs two at a time, not stopping until I reached her room. The door was closed, but seeing as how she wasn’t home, there was no risk of getting caught snooping through her stuff.

  “Sin!” Hawk chased after me and barged into the room. “I was just joking. What the hell are you doing?”

  “Looking for something that may give us a clue where she went.”

  “Why the hell do you care where she went? You’re the one who pushed her away, not the other way around. As far as I see it, she’s free to do what she chooses.” When he put it that way, it made perfect sense, but clearly, I was beyond thinking rationally when it came to this woman.

  I just shook my head and kept sifting through the items piled on top of the dresser. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  He responded by nodding and stepping up to assist me. “I understand perfectly, my friend. Can I give you some friendly advice?”

  “No, but I know you’re going to give it anyway,” I grunted.

  He chuckled and opened the top drawer. “You and I both know you’ve got a thing for her.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So, screw worrying about her ties to your brother and act on those feelings. Hell, from what she’s told me, it sounds as if the guy was a real douchebag. He probably never gave two shits about Victoria or her feelings. In fact, if I ever see that asshole again, I’m going to introduce him to my fist.”

  I chuckled but never veered in my search. “You and me both, my friend.”

  I knew he was right, but that didn’t solve my dilemma. As much as I wanted her, who was to say I wouldn’t wind up treating her just as poorly as Michael had? What if we ended up having sex and I realized that’s all I was interested in? What would happen then? Sure, I’d get what I wanted, but I would hurt her in the process. I’d just end up being another asshole who used and abused her.

  I wasn’t too sure I could live with that.

  I refused to think about the scenario where she was the one who ended up hurting me, though I knew it was always a possibility.

  I thought about what he’d said about Michael as I searched through her underwear. “You’re right about one thing. He never cared about her. Not the way he should have.” My hand came in contact with something that didn’t feel like lingerie. “Hey, I think I found something.”

  I pulled it out and stared open mouthed. It was a piece of paper containing what appeared to be a list, a ‘to-do’ list of sorts. Only this wasn’t your typical ‘get shit done’ type of list
. The contents of this list centered around one thing.

  Fucking.

  My eyes scanned V’s handwritten wish list, and my anger boiled with each line I read.

  21

  1) Adopt Sophie’s FUCK THE RULES motto

  2) Be more adventurous

  3) Kiss a random guy

  4) Proposition a hot guy

  5) Achieve the BIG ‘O’

  6) Sing w/ the band

  7) Body piercing

  8) Cuddle after sex

  9) Car sex

  10) Kissing in the rain

  11) Get a tattoo

  12) Inspire someone

  13) Watch porn w/o having sex

  14) Dirty talk during sex

  15) Have sex on the beach

  16) Master the art of giving a BJ

  17) Phone sex

  18) Try a new position

  19) Finally let go of Michael

  20) Find myself

  21) Fall in love

  What the fuck was this shit? Who in their right mind would take the time to make a list like this?

  “Does it give any clues?” Hawk peered over my shoulder and got a peek at the list. “Whoa.”

  “I thought she came here looking for a vacation.” My voice sounded hoarse.

  “From the looks of this list, I’d say she came to Panama City looking for more of a fuck-a-tion than a vacation, if you know what I mean.” He nudged me with an elbow and laughed. “That’s some filthy shit. Our sweet little Tori. Who’d a thunk, eh?”

  I crumpled the paper into a ball and palmed it. I was tempted to throw it out the window, but then I wouldn’t have the ammunition I needed when I confronted her about it later tonight. There was no chance in hell I was going to let this go.

  “Hawk? Shut the fuck up. It’s late and we need to head over to the bar.”

  “Sin, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours? I’ve seen that look in your eyes before. Don’t go down there and do anything crazy,” he warned as he followed me down the stairs. “What are you gonna do if she’s there?”