The List Series Read online

  It was his turn to clear his throat.

  “I just remembered some shit I need to take care of. Catch you later, Princess?” He took a step backward then turned, not bothering to wait for my reply.

  “Yeah, sure. No worries. I’ll just be here cleaning up a mess I didn’t make,” I mumbled.

  I tossed the nearest pan into the now lukewarm water and glanced down at the front of my shirt, sticking out my tongue at Belle’s image. Princess? Try again. Right then, I felt more like Cinderella than Belle.

  Stupid shirt.

  Stupid, stupid Michael.

  CHAPTER 12

  V

  I hadn’t seen or heard from Sin since he’d taken off after his little freak out. I worked my ass off cleaning that kitchen, and by the time I finished, I. Was. Done.

  Physically and emotionally spent.

  I retrieved my bag from the foot of my bed and walked right out the front door without so much as a good-bye. Ten minutes later, I found myself standing inside Devil’s Playground.

  It was a Monday afternoon, and the band wasn’t scheduled to perform again until Thursday. Blade had hired them to play every week, Thursday through Saturday, through Labor Day.

  As if on cue, Blade appeared and leaned forward, placing both hands flat on the table where I was seated. “Hey, darlin’. Good to see you again. What can I get ya?”

  I blew a chunk of hair out of my eyes and offered a weak smile. “How ‘bout three shots of Patron and a do-over of the last seven days?”

  He chuckled and smacked his palm across the table. “What’d the asshole do this time?” Clearly, he knew my frustration lay with Dylan.

  I just shook my head and smirked. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Let’s just say I’ve known that kid many years. You’re not the first woman he’s driven to drink, and I’m sure you won’t be the last. That being said, he’s a good guy. Just has a hard time showing it. Cut him some slack. He’ll come around.” He waited for me to respond, but I was still too frustrated to articulate my feelings. Because I appreciated his intentions, I patted the back of his hand and flashed a toothy gin. Satisfied, he rapped his knuckles on the tabletop and righted himself. “Be right back with those shots.”

  When Blade returned, he placed the shots on the table before sliding a burger and fries in front of me. It looked and smelled amazing. Plus, I was famished. I looked up in confusion since I hadn’t ordered anything to eat.

  “You looked hungry, and you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach,” he stated, sounding very much like my own father.

  “Thank you. I may have skipped breakfast.” I popped a hot fry in my mouth and moaned my appreciation. “This will definitely hit the spot.”

  Foregoing the lemon accompaniment, I reached for the first shot and downed it. The alcohol ran smoothly over the back of my throat, and I waited for the burn to touch my ears.

  I freaking loved that feeling. Tequila and I had a longstanding friendship.

  “So good.” I licked my lips and held up three fingers. His raised brow was intended as a warning, but he returned to the bar without a word.

  Anyhow, back to the predicament at hand.

  My earlier encounter with Sin left me thinking maybe it was time I packed my bags and headed somewhere else. It wouldn’t be hard to do. I had the means to travel anywhere my heart desired. I could call up Sophie and convince her to join me. Hell, maybe we could finally take that cross-country trip we’d been talking about for years on end. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t ready to leave just yet. After spending a few days with the guys, I knew there wasn’t anyplace else I wanted to be. After all, they treated me well. They made me laugh. Whenever we went out, they were fiercely protective. In fact, Hawk was kind of like a surrogate big brother. The same could be said for Styx and J.T.

  The same couldn’t be said for Dylan. While I didn’t think of him as a brother, he was definitely protective. There had even been times when I could have sworn he was jealous of the amount of time Hawk and I were spending together.

  Over the last two days, there’d been so much tension between us, I wasn’t sure if we were going to come to blows or wind up in bed together.

  Not that I had been thinking about things like that or anything. But you had to admit, sex with Sin had a catchy ring to it.

  Get a grip, Victoria

  I shouldn’t be thinking about sex at all. What I needed to do was finish my damn list. Over the last few days, I’d been so preoccupied I’d almost forgotten about it.

  I pulled the list out of my bag and stared absently at the page, my mind drifting back to Sin. More specifically, Sin’s amazing backside.

  Focus, Victoria!

  It was just that it had been so long since I’d been intimate with someone. I missed kissing. I missed being held after sex. I missed holding someone’s hand.

  Okay, I’ll be honest. I miss dick! There, I said it.

  Blade returned and eyed the burger I had yet to touch before lining the next three shots up in front of me. To appease him, I picked up the burger and took a large bite. That seemed to satisfy him, because shortly after, he went back to work.

  My eyes trailed after his departing form as I thought about everything I wanted to write down. The possibilities were endless. After all, this was supposed to be an exercise to help me break out of my boring and pathetic life. If I was going to dream, then I needed to dream BIG. Why the hell not?

  After all, I could use the escape.

  In fact, I was pretty certain I deserved one.

  I tapped the pen on the edge of my teeth as a few ideas played out in my head. When I finally put pen to paper, the remainder of the list took on a life of its own. The more tequila I drank, the raunchier the list became.

  I kept going until I’d come up with the full twenty-one, and once the list was complete, I raised the last shot in a celebratory salute to myself.

  The next three weeks were going to be A LOT of fun.

  “There you are!” Hawk appeared out of nowhere and approached my table. I scrambled nervously, stuffing the notepad back in my bag before he had a chance to see it.

  I lifted a hand in greeting when he took a seat across from me. “Hey.”

  He surveyed the empty shot glasses and cocked his blond head. “Why the hell are you drinking alone?” He motioned for a waitress. “I’m so hungry my stomach thinks my throat’s been slit. You want anything?” he asked while perusing the menu.

  “No, thanks. Blade already took care of me.” I waited for him to finish speaking with the waitress, chuckling after hearing the amount of food he’d just ordered. “The refrigerator was full of food. Why didn’t you grab something there?”

  “Because Sin ordered me to stay out of the kitchen,” he replied with a scowl. “Bossy bastard.”

  “Ordered you?” I laughed.

  “Yes! He even threatened violence. Like I told you, the man is pure evil,” he said with a wink. “So, tell me, what was it that made you drink that many shots?”

  I gave him the side-eye. “The same bossy bastard.”

  Hawk shook his head and murmured, “Fucker.” My laughter told him I agreed one hundred and ten percent.

  While waiting for his food to arrive, we chatted about how he and Dylan met in juvie and hit it off. Then we talked about the early days of how they came to form a band. After that, he mentioned a girl named Melody who was back in Mount Pleasant waiting for him.

  “This girl, Melody. Is she your girlfriend?”

  “Nah. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’re just fuck buddies.” He shrugged his shoulder and laughed before continuing. “We figured we’ll keep fucking until we grow tired of each other or one of us meets someone and falls in love.”

  “So, you’d like to fall in love someday?”

  “Absolutely,” he answered without hesitation. “What about you? Ever been in love?”

  “I thought so, until I found out I don’t even know what lov
e is. I mean, it’s not really love if it’s only one-sided. Right?”

  He listened thoughtfully before covering my hand with his own. “Not all guys are assholes, Tori. The right guy is out there. Tell me what you think love should look like. ”

  I thought about it for a moment then rattled off the first things that popped in my head. “Having someone to call when you’re down. Someone to come home to every night, and they’re happy just because you’re there. They support your dreams and aren’t afraid to sleep in the wet spot. You know, that kind of shit.”

  His head dipped back as he opened up and laughed his ass off. Pretty soon, I was laughing with him. It took a few minutes for us to pull it together, and during that time, his food arrived.

  He squeezed out a glop of ketchup for his fries then shoved three in his mouth.

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. There are plenty of guys who would be more than willing to sleep in jizz for you.”

  “Spoken like a true southern gentleman,” I teased.

  I truly adored Hawk. He was easygoing and I loved that he always portrayed a positive attitude, no matter the situation. While he stuffed his face, a song I loved came on the radio and I quietly sang along.

  “You have a great voice, Victoria.”

  I hadn’t realized I’d been singing loud enough for him to hear. I was certain my cheeks were the color of the ketchup bottle. “Wow. Thank you.”

  “You ever get on stage and sing?” His eyes swept over me as a big grin filled his face.

  “A few times, but only to sing karaoke with friends.” I held up a finger. “It should be noted that on every occasion, there was an insane amount of tequila involved.”

  He motioned toward the empty shot glasses still on the table. “Looks as if you’ve already taken care of that. Josie!” he called for one of the waitresses. “Sweetheart, can you ask Blade to kill the tunes? Victoria here is going to sing us a song.”

  “Oh no, I’m not.” I shook my head as Hawk took me by the arm and pulled me to standing. “Hawk! I can’t sing in front of all these people.”

  He looked around at the partially-filled room. “Why not? You don’t even know them.”

  “There is no way in hell I’m going to get up there by myself to sing.” I stamped my foot like a petulant child.

  He waggled his brows and tugged me toward the stage. “But you won’t be alone. I’ll be up there with you. I’ll play, and you can sing. I’ll sing backup.”

  “Fine,” I groaned begrudgingly. “But let’s do it before I chicken out.”

  “Wait.” I gripped the microphone tightly in my right hand. “What song am I singing?”

  He pursed his lips together and thought for a moment. “Know any P!nk?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Based on the snippet I just heard, I think you can handle it.” He winked.

  I blew out a very nervous breath. “Okay, fine. There is one I can do.” I told him the song, and he played a few chords until we found the right key for me to sing in.

  What the hell have I gotten myself into? My knees wobbled under my weight.

  I closed my eyes and whispered a silent prayer just as Hawk strummed the first chord to Just Like a Pill.

  By the time I hit the second verse, my nerves had disappeared only to be replaced by a sense of euphoria. At some point, Blade had jumped on stage and joined us on drums. A small crowd had gathered on the dance floor and were singing along with me as they danced.

  I had to admit, it was exhilarating.

  At least until Sin walked in and ruined everything.

  CHAPTER 13

  SIN

  Not gonna lie. V looked hot as fuck up there singing on that stage.

  My stage.

  A wave of emotions flooded over me.

  Lust.

  Pride.

  Longing.

  Jealousy.

  Ultimately, it was jealousy that made me lose my shit. And yeah, I already knew what an asshole I was, so spare me the raging Twitter attacks. Believe me, I’ve heard it all.

  V slipped the microphone back onto the stand and flashed me the biggest, most beautiful grin. Without thought, I took a step toward her with the intention of grabbing her by the waist and sliding her down my body for a long overdue kiss. I could almost feel her warm skin pressed against mine, our morning discussion long forgotten.

  “I knew it! I knew you had it in you!” Hawk bellowed as he snared an arm around her narrow waist and spun her around in circles. Her head was thrown back in laughter. Their bodies were pressed so tight I didn’t know where one stopped and the other started.

  “Thank you! Thank you for believing in me and challenging me to face my fears. You’re the best, Hawk!” Her lips touched each corner of his mouth.

  His green eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed pink.

  As for me… I saw red.

  “What the ever-loving fuck is going on?” My lip curled into a sneer as I jutted toward V with my chin. “What’s she doing up there?”

  “Singing her gorgeous ass off. That’s what,” Hawk answered proudly. “I think we should let her sing backup this weekend. She’d be great on that—”

  I dug in my heels. “No fucking way. We don’t need any other voices. Period. What we have works just fine. Besides, from what I heard, I don’t think she could cut it.”

  I turned in time to catch the smile as it fell from her face. With a roll of her eyes, she whispered, “Thank you” to Hawk and Blade before stepping off the stage to collect her bag from where she’d been seated. She started for the door, making it only a few steps before whipping around to face me.

  “Why do you always have to be such a prick? What the hell did I ever do to you, other than haul your ass down here? Is it because I refused to kiss you all those years ago? Is that why you turned me down this morning? Well, whatever the reason, you can go fuck yourself. I’m finished!”

  I stared after her, long after the whoosh of the bar’s exterior door as it closed behind her.

  I knew she was right. I was a prick. Again. Was it because she’d blown me off four years ago? Or was it simply because I secretly envied the connection Hawk seemed to share with her? Whatever the reason, I knew jealousy had been a contributing factor on all accounts.

  Now and then.

  “Nice going, dickhead. You know, Victoria is a really special girl. More importantly, she’s my friend.” Hawk stepped down and got up in my face.

  “You really want to do this, brother? Over some chick you met a fucking week ago?”

  “We’ve known each other a lot of years, and during that time I haven’t asked much of you.”

  I flexed my fingers and stuck out my chest. “Your point?”

  Hawk’s chest puffed out to match mine as his eyes narrowed into thin slits. “Be nice to my friend, or I’ll kick your sorry ass all over this fucking bar. Understood?”

  “You got a thing for her? Is that what this is?”

  He flexed his jaw and snorted. “Fuck you. I don’t have a thing for Victoria. But you, my friend, do. And you better fucking figure it out and quick.”

  I rocked back on my heels. Stunned. I didn’t have a thing for V. Sure, I’d thought about boning her once or twice. Maybe twenty times. Tops. Under no circumstance did I ever wish to pursue something further, and I could sure a hell guarantee she felt the same way.

  Right? I mean… Could she?

  “Christ, man. Are you going to be a dumbass your entire life?” Blade chimed in.

  “Dude? What the fuck?”

  He pointed to the door and bellowed, “Go after her!”

  I stared at him, jaw open, questioning my next move.

  “Now!”

  “Okay. Christ! I’m going! But I have you know this doesn’t mean shit,” I mumbled as I went. The look on their faces told me they didn’t believe it either.

  ***

  I found her in an alley not far down the street. It was dark out. She was leaning against th
e brick building. Alone. Crying.

  I ran a hand over my three-day stubble and murmured, “Fuck me.”

  She tried pretending as if she hadn’t seen me, but the tension in her jaw gave her away. I approached with caution, figuring she might strike if I got too close. After all, I’d treated her like shit. She had every right to hate me.

  Hell, sometimes I hated myself.

  “V,” I began.

  She quickly cut me off. “Go away, Dylan.”

  Her words had bite, and even though it was just a name, my name, that one word cut deep. I liked it better when she called me Sin, even if she had only done it once.

  The guys called me Sin all the time and it was no big deal. They’d been doing it for years. I was used to it.

  But somehow, it felt different when V had said it.

  It felt…right.

  “Come on. Don’t be like that. I admit it. I was a dick back there. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I say and do the things I do when it comes to you. To be honest, you confuse the hell out of me.”

  I let out a deep sigh. I wasn’t very good at this shit.

  “That’s still not a good enough reason. I’ve tried really hard to be nice and even hoped we could be friends.” She peered up at me through tear-stained lashes.

  I gulped and clenched my fists at my sides. “I don’t know if we’re supposed to be friends, V.”

  “Because of Michael?” Her face scrunched up as if the mention of his name left a bad taste in her mouth. “You and I both know that’s just a lame excuse. You don’t give a shit about what he thinks any more than I do these days.”

  I was on her in two strides, my palms pressing against the rough brick, caging her in with the weight of my body. Her nipples were as hard as diamonds, and they pressed against my chest with every breath she drew. I liked the way she felt against me. Liked the way her warm breath wafted across my skin.

  I inhaled, skimming the tip of my nose down her slender neck, savoring her sweet-as-fuck scent. She smelled delicious. Like bursts of citrus, tequila, and something much more feminine. My nose dipped lower, and she shifted beneath me, granting me another whiff of that amazing scent. I knew what that scent was.